Anal Sex: Myths of Anal Play & Sex: Part Three

Anal Sex: Myths of Anal Play & Sex: Part Three


Another aspect of anal sex and anal play are the myths and untruths that float around this incredibly taboo subject.  Here we will openly discuss and debunk some of the most common myths. 

Myth: Anal sex is always painful. 

Truth: It can be painful, but it can also be pain free and pleasure filled. Much like anything in this life, things can hurt. Love hurts when it goes awry, intercourse can also be painful, running your finger into the wall is also a very painful experience. Just because something is painful does not always mean we should not try it or be open to the idea.  

Anal sex and anal play become less painful and complex when you have educated yourself, practiced, and have made a steady plan with your partner.  

Myth: Is anal sex unhygienic?  

Truth: Honestly, it is dealing with intimacy in and around the rectal and anal region- so yes, there is always a change you will come in contact in some way with fecal matter. Some people prefer to take action to ensure their bodies have been freshly “cleaned out,” by giving themselves an enema prior to any type of anal play. For those individuals who have regular bowel movements, their systems may have already emptied for the day- which is enough. That’s right- there is no real need to have an enema before anal play, but ensuring that all parties are aware with proper sanitization, use of devices or therapeutic aids, and how to keep the rest of the area clean is a must.  

There are many items that can aide in the external cleanliness during anal play or anal sex. Some of these items are: showering, antibacterial body-safe wipes, or even baby wipes.  

Myth: Does anal sex define orientation? 

Truth: Many straight men have a strongly embedded mental fear that any sort of anal play, even during heterosexual sex or intimacy, may mean someone will say they are queer, or make them questions their own sexuality. The fact is behaviors do not define orientation. Period. We need to begin challenging how people seem to define others not by their character or person, but by a behavior they “once” did. What laws define what behaviors are counted in “defining orientation” anyway? Everyone kisses. Hugs. And many people are intimate with others in a variety of ways. These things did not seem to make the list of orientation-defining behaviors, yet everyone does them. The social constructs defining homosexuality need to be relaxed and past sodomy laws are simply outdated perspectives.  

Many straight couples, men and women alike, participate in anal play and anal sex. Women enjoy anal sex just as much as men, regardless of their sexual orientation. Straight men often enjoy being pegged by their partner, who wears a strap-on device made to help fulfill fantasies and help to reach internal pleasure points like the prostate. Remember that orientation is self-defined, and no one gets to choose but you.  

Myth: Anal sex will stretch and loosen the anus leading to leakage and flatulence.  

Truth: The fact is that the anus and sphincter are muscles, and over time and years of aging, sure, the anus can become weaker. It has its own elasticity based on your body, your overall health, and the “use” that occurs throughout the years. That said, there is no definite answer that anal sex will blow out your O-ring, or cause you to need a diaper, or colostomy bag.  

Whenever you are participating in anal play or sex, it is imperative that you listen to your body, use the proper lubrications, and do not force anything uncomfortably into the anus.  

This is why there are anal Kegel exercises, which are designed to help strengthen the anal canal to help you achieve better bowel control- whether male or female.  

Myth: Is anal sex moral? 

Truth: This answer varies and depends on the answer-seekers own personal moral compass. Every individual was raised in a different house, with different beliefs, rules, and moral base. If you were raised to believe that anything anal related is gross and taboo, then you will continue with that outlook until you perish, or something comes into your life to change your mind. Other people, who were raised in a less stringent and strict environment, may have no qualms about anal sex at all. Anal sex can be a wonderfully, pleasure-filled experience for all parties involved- especially when the “typical” ways to find pleasure have been taken away or removed due to medication, illness, or cancer.  


Resources Used: 

Reclaiming Intimacy 

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