Oral Sex 101

Oral Sex 101 


While oral sex has been around since the beginning of time, there are still aspects of this old tried and true art in pleasure and connection continues to remain taboo. There are many people who have never experienced oral sex and have no plans to ever give or receive. Participating in oral sex is a personal decision, and not one each person, or every couple, will choose to try.  

For some people, the “unknowns” of oral sex make the tasks seem to daunting or unachievable. While some of these people will reach out to friends, their doctor, or their partner to ask their more embarrassing questions, many do not and simply write this sexual act out of their playbooks.  

There are no “set” rules when it comes to oral sex- other than that you should give as much as you receive. This next information might make oral sex less intimidating for you should the occurrence arise.  

-Start things off right. Communicate! By openly discussing oral sex with your partner, this helps to level the playing field. This helps to remove the unknowns and gets the nitty gritty out on the table before anything has even begun to happen. Having this discussion first helps to strengthen your relationship, builds trust and understanding between partners, and offers a platform to address the topic. For some people, they do not like to use slang terminology when referencing genitalia, and route to using biological terms like, “vagina, clitoris, penis, scrotum, testicles, anus, etc.”  

The most common advice given regarding oral sex is that practice makes perfect. And this is true, along with adding that practice gives to do-er a new comfort zone and understanding of their partner.  


-Be safe. All of the time! Being safe does not mean once or twice. You should always be safe with oral sex, regardless if you are the giver or receiver. There are numerous, simple options to add in to your oral sex play that will keep all parties safe. There are condoms for oral sex involving penises, and there are dental dams (or even plastic wrap) for those acts involving a vagina or anus. Condoms are also safe to use with many water-based lubrications. Dental dams are designed to be used on the genitalia, but many find themselves struggling when it comes time to use them. Sometimes these dams do not stay in place or are not designed to cover the genitalia you are working with. This is why sometimes plastic wrap comes in handy. Plastic wrap can be altered in shape to cover the ENTIRE genitalia area, and more can easily be torn off when it’s time to change the wrap, so to speak. Condoms are pretty self-explanatory with use and reasoning. Remember to always wash your hands, and your genitals, too!  


-Know your basic anatomy. By taking the time to get to know your anatomy and that of other males or females, you can ensure that you are carrying out your tricks and tips on the correct areas and parts.  

It’s good to know these parts of the: 

Male anatomy: penis, penile shaft, scrotum, “taint” or perineum, frenulum, corona, testicles, anus, prostate, glans penis, erogenous zones (around genitals),  

Female anatomy: vulva, labia majora, labia minora, anus, urethra, clitoris, clitoral hood, perineum, Bartholin’s glands, vaginal opening.  

It is also a good thing to be aware of natural body odors and smells. All penises and all vaginas have a smell. Some are more potent, strong, and noticeable. Others are less noticeable or intimidating. If you or your partner have an aversion to genitalia body odors, consider making a dual shower or bath part of your warmup routine for oral sex and sexual activity.  


-Change up your “moves.” Oral sex can be very monotonous in that the same actions taken repeatedly can become boring or cause the receiver to lose the feelings all together on the area of focus. Here are some suggestions by some of the world’s leading oral sex experts: 

-Tiny circles, large circles. Alternate the shapes and more importantly, the sizes of the shapes, on your partner’s body or genitalia. Find a comfortable pattern for you to follow and stick with it. You can change the speed, alternate directions, or add in special extras like swats, nibbles, or harder licks.  

-Practice your alphabet. For years many said that the “alphabet trick” was for those giving oral sex to a female—but this could not be more incorrect! The alphabet trick involves tongue-ing each letter of the alphabet on an erogenous zone on your partner’s body. Because each letter is shaped differently, this causes a set of actions that are not like the others. By following the alphabet (“A,” “B,” “C,” and so on) this sets your partner up for a wild ride. One can also spell words during oral sex and try to have your partner determine what the words are.  

-Steady repetition. Some people require steady, similar motions to help them to find pleasure. For these folks, doing things like practicing the alphabet might not be the best option- unless you pick a letter or two and stick with them repeatedly.  


-Add in a therapeutic aid or sexual device. There are so many various devices on the market that can provide a “new” type of stimulation and pleasure to your genitalia. Many of these devices can also be used during oral sex!  

For males there are vibrating support rings, finger stimulators, mouth stimulators, and vibrators. For females there are vibrators, finger and mouth vibrators, insertable vibrators and dildos, and clit exciters. For any oral sex giver, there are also flavored lubrications and gels to make the genitalia taste better. Many of these stimulated flavor gels and cremes also have extras in them like tingling sensations, warming sensations, or cooling sensations.  

Anal stimulation can be very pleasureful for males who are receiving oral sex. The dual stimulation can trigger intense feelings of pleasure and help to bring the male to a powerful climax. Females can be stimulated internally and externally while receiving oral sex. Many women report that they need some form of multiple stimulation to be able to reach orgasm at all.  


-Add in noise and movement. If you’ve ever been in the act of oral sex, whether receiving or giving, and you moan- have you noticed your partners reaction? Typically, moaning, humming, and generally making interactive noises provides another layer of stimulation to any sexual act. This is something that can be added in simply and done without any extra devices or needs. When adding in humming or noise making, be sure to do so in different ranges, tones, and methods. There is no wrong way to do this!  


However, you plan to heighten your oral sex knowledge and regardless of how often you practice, be sure to always keep yourself on the same page as your partner! Communication is the lubrication for all sexual activities and personal connection with your partner. Keep an open mind and your partner’s needs and wants at the forefront of your brain. And remember, it is not solely about the orgasm! Enjoy every moment and feeling of pleasure that takes you up that mountain as well! 


Resources Used: 

Reclaiming Intimacy 

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